Zakuski III in Toronto

My short break in Toronto ended up being stretched to three months. Needless to say, it is difficult to write a blog entry on El Salvador when I am stuck in Canada so as to not further disappoint the 13 (yes, count them, 13!) people who are following me, I am going to throw something at my blog and sees if it sticks.

. Cooking potato latkes on Jeff's 6 burner Viking

This summer, we managed to execute Zakuski II and Zakuski III. Happily, we are getting quite good at it and we assembled a fine collection of booze, food, and people.

Zakuski II was held in Owen Sound and featured four bottles of vodka and a fine selection of food. We had borscht with sour cream and potato latkes with sour cream and apple sauce. A large selection of meats and smoked and pickled fish were put on the table. One thing though ... perhaps we had too much food? Zakuski, from what I have learned, isn't so much about the food - it is about the vodka. Just like Dim Sum is supposed to be about the tea ... with the food being merely an accompaniment. A fine selection of vodkas

For Zakuski III, we wanted to concentrate on the libations. The booze consisted of five bottles of vodka and a bunch of tall cans of Boris Organic Beer from France. Chosen for the name and certainly not for any belief that the French can make decent beer or that we support this ridiculous organic movement. It was just a big can to help wash down the vodka.

Note the cod liver bottom left and the salo above the caviar

The food was again obtained at the Russian deli at Bathurst and Sheppard. My favourite counter woman was not there and none of the three ladies could understand my English (must have been my very heavy Canadian accent). Luckily my friend Rene was there to assist me. Rene is a black Cuban and now Canadian who studied in Moscow for a few years and speaks quite good Russian. Between him and a fellow customer (apparently a Russian ex-supermodel), we were able to purchase a fine selection of meats, pickles, and fish products. Some notable finds: actual cod liver in cod liver oil that tastes like foie gras, a giant pink dish (which the ex-supermodel was purchasing for herself and who said was essential for zakuski) made up of fish, potato, beets and

Big pink Russian WTF

a pink "dressing", three kinds of salamis from Moscow, salo (which is a very white, very salty piece of pork fat that is sliced, not too thin, and eaten with the vodka - like prosciuto if it was all fat), smoked mackerel from Mendel’s cheese shop in Kensington Market, jellied tongue roll, grilled mushrooms, and pickles out of a bucket.

As for the people, we were originally at 12 but we had various persons pull out for medical reasons. We did have Jeff and Kathleen visiting from Owen Sound, our Cuban Russian crew of party mafiosas, and two journalists to whom I forgot to mention that the evening was "off the record." Egle is an old friend from Havana who works for the Globe and the zakuski was really for her (nice Lithuanian roots and all). She invited Stephen who is the spokesman for white guys everywhere (see his book "The White Guy - A Field Guide") who was at TIFF and writing dispatches to the Calgary Herald. I would like to congratulate (1) Calgary for having enough literate people to support a newspaper (Yeah, Calgary!) and (2) Stephen for getting about half the details right for his story (Yeah, Stephen!). After the quantity of vodka that was consumed, half right is astounding. See half the correct details at http://communities.canada.com/calgaryherald/blogs/bladerunner/archive/2009/09/19/tiff-dispatch-zakuski.aspx

We started off with a bottle of Stoli Elit, a bottle shaped like a Russian tank shell with an extremely heavy cap which we think is made from depleted uranium (we hear Russia has a lot of that lying around). Before opening, we had the obligatory singing of the Russian National Anthem - led by Ariana (our actual Muscovite) and Rene. The vodka was poured and enjoyed. Elit is extremely smooth with a soft finish and only a mild sense of foreboding that the evening was going to end up very badly.

Made it through that bottle, a Slava (an excellent Ukranian premium vodka available at the LCBO), an Igor Dogburoski (sp?), a Stoli regular, and then another half a bottle of Slava.

Some highlights of the evening - me warning a diner that the Russian hot mustard (made in Canada like much of the mustard in the world) was the hottest mustard I had ever tried ... and not being believed and watching a very pretty woman having a wasabigasm from a piece of salami on black bread.

Our petite Russian girl shooting back glass after glass of vodka - I asked her why she didn’t just sip it and she told me that she didn’t know how. Eating the Salo, salt cured pork fat, and enjoying the delicious salty taste and the interesting crunchy consistency. Testing Rene’s knowledge of every Beatles song ever recorded and bootlegged, at risk of imprisonment, onto cassettes for distribution in Cuba. Finishing off the meal with some nice Cuban cigars on the patio ... with Russian chocolates, more vodka, more beers, and whiskey. Having two women pass out on the bed in the spare room with one of them, how to say it delicately ... puking all over everything.

So note to self ... next time, less salami, more smoked mackerel, more pickles, maybe some smoked white fish, and six bottles of vodka next time!

Zakuski IV, coming to Toronto in the spring of 2010.

A Short Break in Toronto

After my trip to Havana, I had about three weeks in El Salvador before I had to fly up to Toronto. I’m here for six weeks and am enjoying the summer (although I was freezing last night smoking a cigar on a patio on Yonge Street) but I was quite sad to leave San Salvador. It’s funny how that has become my home and the more I travel, the more I just want to sleep in my own bed.

Eating well including this hamburger I saw on Diners Driveins and Dives that has a piece of grilled Keilbasa on top of a half pound beef patty. My family accused me of being a gorger. Also apparently am eating a lot of Korean food although I was trying to go for sushi last night! Here I am doing the Ddong Jjim salute with one group of friends and the sam gyup sal with the boys after 4 pints of beer. Hmm, and lots of those little green bottles.

I have been in touch with Jane from http://pishposhohmygosh.blogspot.com/ and have been reading Aighmeigh’s http://mividasalvadorena.blogspot.com/ two very different stories about how life is progressing with El Salvador. I think both of them, as well as myself and most of my Canadian and American friends in El Salvador, are non-Salvadorans who were lucky enough to be in relationships with Salvadorans and have decided to try life there for a while. It ended in tragedy for Aighmeigh (whose husband was killed either in a robbery or an extortion retaliation) but has been wonderful for myself and most of my friends here.

With the election of Funes, there is some hope that he is going to do something about the crime in El Salvador. We don’t know what he can do but so long as he tries something! This is such a huge issue and affects so many people. In creates a lot of insecurity for everyone, brings tragedy to too many families, hurts foreign investment, and is the main obstacle to increasing tourism.

At the same time, I don’t want to overstate the problem of crime here. Of course the numbers look terrible but you could say that about a lot of major cities in North America. Unfortunately, El Salvador has this bad reputation which is only exacerbated by the global media. I just saw a show called Ross Kemp on Gangs - a British show that shot a ridiculously one sided episode in El Salvador. Every shot showed this wonderful country as poor, dangerous, f**cked up place where the police are useless and the gangs have all the power. And they gave this clown a Bafta award! So for the sake of good TV (sensationalism and violence) they continue to reinforce the image that El Salvador is dangerous and shouldn’t be visited.

I have lived in El Salvador for two years and have been visiting for a dozen and never had any problems. My friend Ian lived here for 8 years with no problems. Many other friends have lived happily and safely as well. But other friends have been victims of crime. You have to be careful and you have to honour the potential threat. My girlfriend has been incredibly protective of me and I suggest it is better to be overly safe than to ignore the dangers and hope you get lucky. I have two friends that have told me that they have walked great distances at night after leaving bars but I don’t see this as a sign of bravery or intelligence or safety but of luck.

So what happened to my other friends? One was leaving his business around 6:00 p.m. in a good area and a kid came up to him and demanded his cell phone. He ignored the kid and turned to get something and the kid shot him and ran away. Fortunately, it was a very small calibre gun so my friend was able to drive himself to the hospital where they dressed the abdominal wound and he was fine and recovered fully. But a lot of trauma for a $40 phone. When someone is mugging you, hand it over and fast. My other friend was driving his work pick-up, a shiny new vehicle. He got carjacked and was held for several hours before they released him out in the distant burbs. He’s fine though - oh, and he also got his phone stolen in front of his house. Moral of the story? Be careful what, where and when you drive. At night or iffy areas of town, windows up and doors locked. Situational awareness is very important - watch around your car and if someone bad looking approaches at night, back up or drive away (you can go through red lights at night in El Salvador). We drive an old Sentra with very darkly tinted windows so no-one can see inside. Also, if you get bumped or into a fender bender in an isolated area - don’t stop. Drive away and if the other driver follows, go to a gas station or well lit area to trade information.

Another problem that is becoming increasingly common are the telephone extortion attempts. Many people with businesses or are otherwise prominent get phone calls from supposed gang members demanding money or face retribution. Two friends were recently targeted and I mentioned this to other people and was told about several other cases. If the call is real, it could end up badly - a friend of mine from Mexico had to move to Canada for safety. But from what I can tell, the vast majority of the calls are not real but are from people looking to make a fast buck. One friend has been called many many times and he just hangs up on them (mind you, he always carries at least one gun and has a giant German Shepard). Others say to change your telephone numbers and nothing will happen.

The vast majority of murders and a lot of the crime is gang on gang and only in certain areas. Be careful of Soyapango, Apopa, San Marco and maybe Libertad. If you don’t have to go there, then don’t. My girlfriend has family in one of those areas and I used to sleep there until the gang problem got too bad. I still occasionally go but in our darkly tinted car and I am out of there by nightfall. Her nephew who lives there was hit by a richocheting bullet fired by a gang member trying to kill a local drug dealer. Her neice’s boyfriend was in a gang and tried to leave and was killed in front of her.

We hope that Funes and his initiative to put more police on the street will have an affect. There are also a lot of other programs - job creation and bringing organized soccer to communities. My friend Pierre has become head coach of an American football team whose roster is made up of a lot of ex-gang members from the U.S.

El Salvador is a great country. It has wonderful people, most very friendly and kind. My friend Paige was here for a month and traveled on her own through the entire country to research a travel book she is writing (Norton’s Great Destinations) and she didn’t have a single problem. She met many other tourists and didn’t hear of any problems from them either. There are gang issues and there is crime but just be careful, use common sense, err on the side of caution, and listen to well-meaning advice!

From San Salvador to Havana

The Malecón on a warm summer night

I know this is a Blog about El Salvador but I was in Havana last week and wanted to talk a little about my old home. Went there for a blessedly short one week stay and, you know what? It wasn’t that bad.
The Cubans are being very careful about Swine Flu. Maybe half the people in the arrivals corral are masked and they handed out forms before immigration. The immigration woman said I didn’t have to fill it out, then I went through, had my bags x-rayed and then Public Health stopped me and said to fill out the card. I did but I was carrying stuff and my writing was terrible so the nurse was kind enough to redo some of the info. Then she asked me the same questions that were on my form ... which I answered "no" to all of and then she let me past. Got my giant bags full of car parts and diapers and food and hot sauces and dancers stockings and got stopped by customs for having large and heavy bags. The woman asked what I had and I shrugged and said clothes ... and she said "and" ... and I said and "food" ... and she said "and" .... and I said, and toilet paper? Ding ding ding! Right word and she said, go through.
Out into the hot and humid Havana night, a bit of rain falling. Got home and straightened out my stuff and got to sleep after a cigar and most of a bottle of rum with the British guy subletting my place.
Ah, Havana ... incredibly bad Internet, safest streets in Latin America, my fish guy very nervous about delivering lobster tails to me since he thinks they are installing surveillance cameras at the corner, kids playing in the parks all day and into the evenings without any parental supervision, taking it up the bum on cell phone charges, going out for drinks and having a sandwich and fries, two cocktails, a beer, three double rums, two Baileys and two juices (the latter for the Jinateras that tried to chat us up) for a tab of $23, my assistant being late two hours for an important meeting and arriving frazzled after calling the taxi company about a dozen times, and walking home a bit wobbly at 5:00 in the morning (twice) through dark streets carrying a wallet full of cash, my iPod and camera after playing dominoes and not having a whisper of a problem.
So I ate pretty well. Went to a newish paladar (private licensed restaurant) calle La Paila just south of 51 on 88B in Marianao. Of course it is stupidly hard to find because they took the sign down to get fixed. We had to call two different people to get vague directions to even come close to it. But it was worth the hunt. I had a very tender octopus starter with toasted garlic with a basil sauce and then their Cuban beef filet with a blue cheese sauce drizzled with chocolate. Tasty! Then a shot of Barrel Proof Havana Club and a complementary cigar. Also made it to El Aljibe and filled up on their rice and beans and delicious roast chicken ... oh, succumbed to the German french fries as well. Also had a nice meal at El Template at the harbour.
Meetings in Old Havana, meeting in Vedado and no taxis around so I walked from La Rampa to Calzada y C - maybe about 20 minutes. It was so nice to just walk around since it is a bit risky for a gringo (or a chino) to walk around San Salvador.

A bit of flooding in Vedado - note the funny black pod on the pole,

neighbours think it is a surveillance camera

Weather was great but we had a couple of good soakings. My place is near the ocean and at the bottom of the hill where a lot of Vedado is so when it rains, the water comes streaming down and makes little rivers of water on the south to north roads. It flooded the underground garage a bit not nothing too bad ... only a problem if we get heavy rains for 6 hours straight. A lot of the city floods and one time I was driving and the water was cresting the top of my hood. For a crappy old Nissan Sentra, that is a challenge. Two things will get you through that much water - keep gunning the engine so air is constantly being blown out the exhaust and hope that a bunch of kids will come to your aid and push you through - and tip well afterwards.

Happy diaper recipients in Plaza Vieja

My second last day was a lot of fun. Went down to Old Havana to deliver a big box of diapers and wet wipes to a friend. Hung out with her and had several coffees in a great café in Plaza Vieja, opposite from the Austrian brew pub. Had a couple of capuccinos which were very tasty.

Another view of Plaza Vieja - the apartment where my friends live

Then a couple of friends visiting for the weekend met up with me and we had lunch and then went to the artisanal market in Old Havana. They were hemming and hawing a bit so I yelled at them to buy something - buy art, photos, it was all so cheap. I ended up getting three photos including a hilarious one of a woman in a laundromat staring down Che. The prices were sooo cheap for the photos - $15 for a large one of the Malecon and $10 for the 8x10s that I almost felt like offering more. I bought two paintings as well - a little tourist throwaway that must have taken literally five minutes to paint but it was $15 and really evocative of Havana and the other was a much more complex arty piece painted by the former historian of the Camaguey Ballet - the vendor wanted $100 and said it was negotiable so I offered $80 and he said $90 so I said $80 and he said $85 and I said $80 was fair and if I could have started at $60 if he wanted to play games. So $80 it was.
Then off with the friends for some libations at the Café Oriente for some fancy cocktails including their Adam and Eve which, bizarrely, won first prize at the International Cocktail competition a few years ago. I have the recipe from a feature we did for Cubaplus magazine a few years ago:
Havana Club 7 Years Old: 30 ml
Green Apple Liquor: 20 ml
Martini Bianco (white vermouth): 20 ml
Campari Bitter: 5 ml
Stir with ice and serve straight up in a chilled martini glass. Garnish with two apple hearts pierced by an arrow and placed on the rim of the glass.
The bartender who came up with this drink wasn’t there and the guy filling in was too lazy to cut two hearts but he did make a nice one out of papaya.

My best friend Delia

I split to go home to prep for a party at Delia’s house. Delia is my best friend in Cuba, a roommate of many years, and the person I would go to if I ever had a really serious problem ... like several years ago when I was involved in a traffic accident when I hit a young girl who ran in front of my car. Delia held my hand when I met with the police, when I found my lawyer, she paid my bail, and then went with me to Cien y Aldobo (the Lubyanka of Cuba, the headquarters of the police and secret police and the most feared place in Cuba) where I signed my detention order and, after showing proof that I had payed my bail, flipped it over to sign my release order [when we finally went to trial, the prosecutor was saying it was my fault and asked for a sentence of two years of limitation of my liberty (which is not imprisonment or even house arrest but that I couldn’t leave Cuba for two years - weird!) but after all the witnesses spoke, the judge withdrew the charges ... whew!).

Cuban chicas at the party

On the other hand, whenever Delia needed someone at her back, I was there. I payed for her wedding reception when she was in a dry spot business-wise. I went to Toronto when she was there visiting her son and acted as her chauffeur and hand fed her sushi for a week.
So I asked if I could have a party for my friends at her house ... and kind of forgot it was her birthday a few days after and said "it’s a party for your birthday" and she’s like "you forgot my birthday again." But no harm no foul and we decided to go ahead with it. A friend cooked a 30 lb leg of lamb, Delia made the salsa, I brought the tortillas and cheese and made a mole sauce for the pulled pork. Also brought cans of corn and jalapenos for a spicy topping and 30 lobster tails for grilling. Now the lobster in Cuba can be delicious and is generally cheaper than hamburger (which costs more since it is imported and the lobster is caught just off the shore). The problem with ordering in restaurants is that they tend to cook it for about 15 minutes more than they should. Also, when you buy it in the streets, they always always say it is fresh but it ain’t always the case. This time, they were great. Fresh and sweet and very white. I made a basting sauce out of garlic, extra virgin olive oil and butter, showed Jan how to butterfly and clean out the thingee, and grilled them until just barely done. Well, probably overcooked a few but I was running around trying to get the taco buffet set up, saying hi to new arrivals, and I was so busy I forgot to take pictures!

30 lobster tails ready for the grill

Delia was screwing around shooting tequila (we gave her two bottles of the good stuff for presents) so while all the food was out, none of the tortillas were. So people were loading up the plates with all the taco fixings without tacos and - the horror - were putting all the condiments on top of the lobsters. I guess they thought that the cooked lobster looked a little bare. Oh, and most people were putting grated cheese on the lobsters as well. I tried not to freak even when my friend Carlos came back with a cheese covered tail and asked for a refire ... which I did without stabbing him with the tongs and he made me try it and ... it .... was ... delicious. So f**k me, I’ll have to try that next time ... some kind of modified lobster rockefella skank with cheese and spinach or something.

Danny and Ana Rosa flamencoing

Party was going well but we were running out of beer. I had brought two cases and asked the foreign invitees to bring beer but almost no one did. I should explain that Cuba is probably the only country in Latin America (maybe even in the world) where a working man can’t leave work and have a cold beer. And that is because the vast majority of beer (and all the good stuff) is sold in Convertible Pesos and costs about a dollar which is two days average pay! So most Cubans can’t afford to drink a lot of beer and when it is at parties, it goes fast. I felt kind of bad that we were short but I also bought a case of good rum so it wasn’t like people were short of booze.

Miguel singing his heart out to an appreciative crowd

I had invited some good friends that have a flamenco dance company. Normally, I just invite them to hang out (I used to be their business manager and patron) and the girls are terribly addicted to chocolate which I always have at parties. This time I asked if they would do a few numbers and they said they would be happy to do so. They came with a singer, guitarist and three dancers and after they ate, we moved around some furniture and they did a great, intimate, and funny performance that everyone loved. I paid them with a four pound bag of Hershey minis ... but got hit up for a donation of $300 to buy stuff for staging their next performance which they are going to use for their very first ever tour outside of Cuba! They are off to Greece for month this winter ... so if anyone is in Greece and needs tickets, let me know.
So the party went on for a while. It was actually very small since Delia and I only invited close friends. We had maybe 40 people and there was some dancing and a lot of drinking and then some dominoes - which is the true national sport of Cuba. High spirited play, some really mean spirited bad winners who really rubbed the losers faces into it (which is very normal for Cuba), some tears, spilled rums, numerous delicious cigars, a lot of laughter ... and then the walk home at 5:00 a.m. If you have never experienced a party in Havana, you are really missing out.

One of my favourite photos of Grupo Ecos - snapped at the Teatro Mella during a weekend run where they played for 12,000 people

Next day had some final meetings and the head of the flamenco company came to take me to the airport. This was the deal for me buying car parts for him - an obligation that I feel that I have since it used to be my car. I used to have a registered office in Havana and had a couple of cars. When you-know-who said there were too many foreigners in Cuba, they decided to kick out half the companies including all the foreign lawyers so I lost my Audi to the police in a really ridiculous charade of governmental b.s. The Nissan we held onto until I was stopped by the cops (who had big lists of all the cars they were hunting down). I had to go to an office on the coast in Miramar and I sat there, in the shade with a nice ocean breeze, reading a book. I ended up chilling out for 8 hours which made the police very nervous that I wasn’t getting upset over the delay in processing my repo. Every few hours someone would come out and say the wait was almost over. At the end, some high ranking guy gave me a letter and apologized that I could only have 3 days to sell the car before I had to turn it in. I was shocked and amazed that they were even giving me the chance to drive away in it!

When Hurricane Wilma came to town - Parque Almadeo Roldan from my balcony

So I put the car in the garage and kind of forgot about doing anything about it for a year until Hurricane Wilma blew past Havana and threw an 18' storm surge at us which required us to move the car. During hurricanes, you can basically do whatever you want with your car. You can leave it in the middle of a public park, drive the wrong way on any road, and drive around without license plates ... and the police won’t bother you. We ended up putting the car up the street on Calle C between maybe 13 and 15 which was a good idea since our garage completely filled up with water. It took about 3 days for the water to recede and to clean out the garage and Fatima went to put the car back in the garage ... and started it but then the car ran out of gas, right in front of the Chinese Embassy. When she got back with a pop bottle full of gas, there were two security cars and a cop car waiting for her. They said they had their eye on the suspicious Sentra with no plates for days. Fatima called me asking me to bring the car documents which I happened to have in one folder. I brought it to them, they spent 30 minutes reviewing the documents and calling in on their radios and I said goodbye again to my trusty old 1989 Nissan Sentra (solidly built in Japan for the Canadian market) and, bizarrely, the cops handed back the documents and said I could go! So figuring that I had to do something with it, I decided to give it to my friend, the director of the Flamenco company, since he was getting around on buses and a bicycle. The transfer needed to be signed off by two vice-ministers (of Foreign Investment and Culture) which took a long time ... and 8 months later, the car was his!
So I got a drive in the Nissan to the airport. He has a general permit to go there but not a specific one to drop me off so we went into the parking lot and walked to the terminal in the rain rather than have him being stopped by the cops and questioned. Everything was fine but they were renovating the duty free shop and had moved half the cigars to the gate shop and I was sent there and then they tried to send me back but I held firm and got my cigars! Poor woman at the cigar counter was trying to do all the math in her head since they cash register had been turned off ... I hope she isn’t short too much money at the end of the day. Last funny thing to happen was watching the baggage coming off the plane I was going to board. One guy went into the hold and another guy was on the other end of the conveyor belt chucking bags into a truck. And he was being supervised by 4 people! At one point, it even got up to five. After the truck was full and drove off, the next truck was late in coming so the guy inside the hold came out and was metal detector wanded by one of the supervisors! So I guess he could only steal something made out of plastic or glass. One reason for all this security is that the Canadian travel agents association complained to the Cuban Government that they had been receiving numerous complaints of bags being broken into - so they added security to watch the supervisors who watch the workers. Ah, Cuba.

One worker, four supervisors

Flight was fine although the airline appears to be cutting costs and is buying food from the Havana flight kitchen. I was given a plate of lasagna that was so large that it was oozing over the sides of the plate. The bread was stale and the cake dried out but I didn’t touch those since I barely finished the lasagna and had indigestion for the rest of the flight. Reminiscent of Cubana’s "Tropical" class which was kind of like a business class but not really. On those flights, economy passengers would be given a tray of food with various edible and inedible objects ... and Tropical class passengers would get ... two trays!

Bus class meal ... Cuban style

We had to stop at the ridiculous San Jose airport which was apparently designed by someone who has never actually flown before.
El Salvador was great and I was third off the plane, second through immigration, and miraculously, my bags came out first and second on the conveyor belt. I have mixed feelings about this - with the amount of luck I had with that, I figure that I will never win a lottery in my life.
Back home and it is great here. Had some good beef, KFC one night, made a red Thai curry with coconut milk, leeks, zucchini, bamboo shoots, baby corn, wiskil (small soft squash), green onions, jalapeno, and fresh basil leaves over jasmine rice. And lots of good cold beer.

After living in Cuba for 13 years, I normally am not excited about going back but this was a good trip. Saw most of my friends and lamented/celebrated all those Cuban friends that now live abroad. I acted more like a tourist than normal and ate out a lot and I suppose that is why I enjoyed my trip. So if you haven't made it to Cuba yet, definitely go and go soon before it gets worse/better!

Comida Típica and the Market

I have really been enjoying writing this blog and think it is great that someone from Moscow is reading about my life here. I am in the middle of reading Stalin’s Ghost by Martin Cruz Smith and would love to experience the Moscow of the homicide detective Arkady Renko. Interestingly, one of his novels was set in Cuba (Havana Bay) and I still recall from the first novel, Gorky Park, Renko walking around Moscow with a small Cuban pineapple in his pocket which he would periodically take out and smell to transport him to the sunny island paradise while his world was threatening to crash down around him in cold Moscow.

Rene, Fatima and myself at the Mercado
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I also see that friends in Spain are reading my blog - so leave comments if you have any questions about life here.

The pupusa!

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So I will finally turn to the local food or comida típica. I think I have delayed this because, while I really enjoy it, I don’t know it very well yet.

Our first starter at Maurita's - Quenelles of fresh salty cheese
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The most traditional food here is the pupusa - a corn or rice flour thick tortilla that is stuffed with cheese, chicharrones, and beans. It is made by making a masa or dough with the right amount of water because consistency is very important. Then you take a ball of dough, make a hole inside, put the filling in, fold the top closed and pat it out between your hands - no press or machine can do it as well. Oh, you can put a bit of oil on your palms so it doesn’t stick. Then fry it up and eat it with cortida (which is a vinegary cole slaw made with hand cut cabbage, carrots, sometimes onions and jalapenos, and oregano) and a water tomato sauce. Oddly, this national meal is also slang for a woman’s private parts because the patting together of the hands while forming the pupusa reminds some people of Lesbians getting it on. Excuse the vulgar anecdote here.

Our second starter at Maurita's - Chicharrones with fried tortillas and pico de gallo (the salsa like stuff)

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This food is popular with all Salvadorans although some of my gringo friends hate them and claim that you will always get sick from eating them and that the pork is rancid. I have eaten them from maybe 10 different places/stands and never had a problem. On the Travel Channel, I saw a show where both Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern ate pupusas in NYC and they were both familiar with them and love them ... so that’s great food cred right there.

Fatima's separate and stuff technique

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I think that Fatima has the best way of eating them. She separates the two halves and then eats them like two soft tacos with the cortida on the inside. We all love them in the house but don’t eat them very often since they are very fattening and very condusive to turning regularly proportioned people into very round people.

The girls at Maurita's
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What I find really maddening is that pupusas can only be found for breakfast or dinner - and I think it is the perfect lunch food! I have heard various explanations for this - that it was supposed to be a big filling breakfast that workers would have at home before heading out to the fields to work all day. And the opposite where the workers have such a big lunch with meat, rice, beans, salad, tortillas or bread that they only want something small like a pupusa at the end of the day. Whatever the reason, this is harsh fact of life in El Salvador - although we were able to get pupusas for lunch one day when Elliot and his two friends were visiting from Canada.

The amazing waitress (left) who found us lunchtime pupusas!
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We were at my favourite comida típica place, the Mercado de Antiguo Cuscutlan, looking for a food stand that had pupusas. A lot of the big flat top grills were making tortillas but all the fixings for pupusas were put away. I offered women $5 tips to make a few pupusas ... and was turned down at 5 different places.

Fresh oysters on the half shell at Maurita's

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We ended up at Mauritas where I explained the problem to a waitress and she said hold on ... and came back saying she found someone who would commit the social outrage of cooking pupusas for lunch but we had to pay a 10 cent premium on each one and we had to order 20 of them ... done ... and enjoyed!

My favourite ... Sopa de Patas

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So that is how we came to become loyal to Mauritas. There are probably about 40 food stands and we have eaten at maybe 8 of them. Many of them are very quiet and empty but Mauritas is probably the biggest and busiests (and they take credit cards). They have fresh oysters (for $8, $10 and $12 per dozen, depending on the size), black clams that my friend Minh says are like the kind they had in Viet Nam, and all the traditional meals. We always start with a fresh soft cheese, avocados, and chicharrones (which is actually the name of a fried pork rind but is made here with big chunks of pork meat fried in pork fat), with fresh and fried tortillas.

Sopa de Mariscada

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The the girls usually have a big seviche and I will have a big bowl of Sopa de Patas - a very hearty soup made with cow’s feet and served with big pieces of tendon, tripe, and big chunky vegetables like corn on the cob, cabbage, yucca, wiskil, and carrot. It is served with chopped onion and cilantro and I cover it in hot sauce.

Counting the empties to get a free Pilsener key chain ... sweet!

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Yum! Usually have 3-4 beers provided by the lovely Constancia and Brava beer girls who are constantly fighting for our patronage - Constancia has skinnier girls who offer little gifts like glasses and beer openers while the Brava girls are larger and bustier women who offer a free beer after having 6.

What's that smell? Oh, they brought the kids.
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The other great traditional soup is Mariscada which is a rich seafood soup made with fish, shrimps, langostine, and crab. Maybe some clams too? Then they pour heavy cream into it when they serve it (which is optional - you can have the healthy version which has more veggies in it at some places). Very delicious, rich, and messy if you take the small crab apart.
You can also get really fresh seafood - it goes from the fishmongers into the frying pan here. I tried a turtle egg once ... I know, a protected species but very popular here. It was put into boiling water for maybe 30 seconds and served to me ... it had a soft and leathery shell, you make a hole in the top, put in salt (maybe lime or hot sauce as well), then you suck out the liquidy mess ... did not enjoy that at all.

The stand where they grind the fresh corn for masa for tortillas
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Reminds me of the Sopa de Garrobo that I had once at another restaurant. An iguana soup where the reptile was first boiled to make a broth and then the carcass was fried and served as meat ... the broth was bitterish and quite unpleasant while the animal was extremely bony and had virtually no meat on it. Wow, not good. BUT, I was at a gastronomical food fair where 300 Salvadoran chefs set up at the Sheraton’s big ballroom and the best thing I tried was a Sopa de Garrobo ... rich, deep, delicious ... and am kicking myself for not finding out where that chef worked.
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Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables
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So we like to meet friends at the Mercado and we have a big weekend brunch meal. It has been getting a lot more crowded on Saturdays since Sky TV in Mexico took over the rights to broadcast Spanish Football in Central America. So the thousands of fans of Barcelona and Real Madrid have to go somewhere that has a satellite feed to watch their beloved team ... which makes the Market a popular place with TVs at every food stand. Afterwards, we go to the DVD stand and I buy a bunch of bootlegs to bring to Cuba and we go buy vegetables. The Mercado also has a shoe repair place, shoe stores, hair salons, a florist, stationary shop, and an artesanal goods shop. If you make it down to visit, I'll have to take you to this place.

Cooking pots and corn grinders made from volcanic rock

If you make it down to visit, I'll have to take you to this place.

More Food Verbiage

I’ve had a busy few weeks. Had to head up to Toronto for about three weeks to take care of a family emergency. Did a lot of shopping and lugged a lot of stuff back to El Salvador. Had a pretty good time up there, was able to spend a lot of time with family, got out a few times with friends, and finally got to see my friend Jeff’s new house with his incredibly nice kitchen. Hand painted customs cabinets (including on the fridge and Miele dishwasher doors), six burner dual gas Viking range, and an island that includes a sink/garberator, large wine fridge, built in microwave, and a big warming drawer!

Jeff and the wonder-kitchen

It was my first time in the new kitchen in Owen Sound so I was happy to cook three meals over the weekend. On Friday, we did Korean food with 8 bottles of Soju and 2 bottles of the 100 year wine. I picked up some kimchee, Chrysanthemum leaves, pickled cucumbers and garlic greens, fresh perilla leaves from Korea (!), and bulgogi beef for a nice table top cooking session. Chilli paste, fresh serranos, big chunks of garlic, and grilled meat wrapped up in lettuce with some funky greens. I recall the meal being very delicious and it ended with cigars, whiskey and chocolate on the porch but I don’t recall very much more than that although there were rumours that we got really, really drunk. Mind you, I think that we only drank maybe 6 bottles of Korean booze (or maybe 8) … and a bottle of wine and the whiskey. The Andong Soju was really amazing – clean and fresh like very good vodka.

Andong Soju with unidentified pink bunny

Next day, I made that delicious simple tofu, green onion and beef soup that Mom used to whip up in about 10 minutes. My friends were amazed at how tasty and simple it was so I think that they have added that recipe to their repertoire.

Medium rare grilled lamb with roast veggies

That night, we decided to make a big meal and ended up with a nice deboned leg of lamb marinated in olive oil, garlic and fresh Rosemary and grilled on the Weber and served on a bed of grilled veggies.

Bacon wrapped to keep warm

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... and served on a bed of roast potatoes and grilled savoy

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We also, inexplicably, decided to do a roast steamer leg of pork covered in bacon and served over roast potatoes and savoy cabbage with a red wine jus gravy with parsley. What rocket surgeon came up with that menu? There were only 8 of us for dinner. Washed down with maybe 6 bottles of wine … ugh, wheel me to bed.

Good Canadian Pub Food

Other notably meals … convalescing family member at home where I cooked a nice mac and cheese au gratin with a very old white cheddar, giant BLT’s, chicken souvlaki with a Greek salad, and chicken and dumplings. Went out one night to my local Firkin pub and our table ordered 4 of the specials – prime beef ribs, charred on the grill and slathered with a sweet bbq sauce that comes, I kid you not, with a side of chicken wings and fries. Washed down with 5 pints of beer, yum.

Fixin's for Sukiyaki

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Elliot, myself and Mom after dinner

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Mom came back from Korea and China and we had some nice meals. I got to pick the last meal I had in Toronto so asked for Sukiyaki. Mom made it with beef, tofu, spinach, green onions, spinach, baby bok choi, and shitakes ... delish, and healthy too.

After all this food, it was nice to get back home. The rainy season has started and it will be overcast and rainy until October – although not all the time. It was sunny when I woke up this morning so as long as I get to see the sun every few days, I’ll be happy.

So getting back into the cooking and eating cycle here. Went to Minh’s Cuisine restaurant to celebrate my friend Pierre’s birthday. We ordered a few very tasty appetizers and Minh sent us a couple of nice freebie plates. For my main, I had a curry shrimp dish and it was delish and made even better by some pickled garlic and Habanero chillis. I foolishly ate a whole one including all the seeds and pith … and while it was awesome eating it, my stomach was upset all night. But that s**t is good for you and should keep most gastrointestinal maladies away.

The gift that keeps on giving ... pickled Habaneros and garlic from Minh

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Then on the weekend, Keller was in the mood to smoke so he found a couple of local pork shoulders (none of that potentially scary Hillshire Farms factory pork from Pricesmart). He dusted up a rub and threw it on the smoker along with a beercan chicken and some brined salmon. Salmon was well smoked and awesome and came off first. Then we had to battle our friend who likes to eat his meat very rare. I was trying to explain that that may be okay for an expensive cut of meat but for something cheap, fatty and gristly, it would need 8 to 10 hours at 225 degrees. But nooo, he took it off at 3 hours and then at 5 hours … still not properly cooked. I acquiesced and said that he could cook one shoulder any way he wanted but I was going to do the other one … but he snuck the second one off when I wasn’t looking (possibly between my beers number 6 and 7). So I had to restart the firebox and left it on for another 3 hours … which I think took us to 11:00 pm. When it was done, it was awesome – soft and falling off the bone in chunks. Unfortunately, none of us were hungry anymore! But it made for good tacos later.

Sorry but I forgot my camera so no good food pictures! Just these weird ones that Keller took with his Blackberry. The second one is me with one of the smoked shoulders.

What we are most excited about now, foodwise, is making pastrami and Montreal Smoked Meat. I brought the pickling spices and the saltpeter from Canada and I just have to find some nice briskets. I have two recipes – one calling for a 10 day brine and the other for 21 days … don’t know if I can wait that long. We are planning on having a big deli dinner with dill pickles, potato chips, and pastrami sandwiches slathered in hot mustard that are so thick, you’ll have problems taking a bite out of it.

Organized a group of 12 of us to go to the Mercado Antiguo Cuscutlan tomorrow for some comida tipica ... and I promise to take photos and do a proper blog on the great local dishes and seafood.